No internet tonight..Went out on the porch. Again, with my bear feet, the same when I was a child. Back then I didn’t need a blanket, now I need it. It’s the same noise made by greieri when I was just ten. I remember staying on the green porch of my grandparents and crying myself they don’t let me go to the prom from the “Casa de cultura”. All other kids were going, just me no. And it was always the same hour on the green porch: one in the morning.
Now I have the same hour, going on the Radishani porch. Back then I was crying. Now, every cigarette is like smoking my soul out, smoking the child in me. And every look on the dark sky is like deeping myself into it. I don’t feel it like I was feeling it back then. Is not something mysterious anymore, but is more like an open window. Black one. A few stars.
Is the same quiet and peaceful porch from my grandparents’ house, in Grid village. The trees are not sparkling anymore how they use to. They are dark, without life. They are not with me anymore; they are just there, as strangers. Also the houses are watching me every time as they know I am a stranger. I love this place, because here I turned to myself and every time when I am on the porch I feel turning down to earth: my bear feet, freezing outside, people sleeping in their houses, the quiet river in front of me, the hills stoned by ages and the interminable sky.
It’s strange. In my home city, I was always scared to look at the sky from the fourth floor. Now I feel I could stay all the night on this porch. It’s peaceful and it feels like the world is whole mine.
